i have found true love.

I don't really expect people to understand when I explain my feelings for him. Because I can't even describe them myself. All I know is, they're so strong and so undeniable that I can't stop loving him. I have found someone who can make me feel completely comfortable and 'first-date' nervous at the same time. I believe that's true love. He is one of the best things to ever happen to me. We may be dysfunctional. We may bicker constantly. We may challenge each other. And we may be completely different. But, I couldn't love him more. And without him, I didn't feel the simplicities in the world. The sky was just the sky, and I was just a girl. And without him, neither seemed quite as exquisite and beautiful. He makes me smile all the time. He makes me laugh. I'm truly happy when I'm with him. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.

You need to know.

Everyone deserves love without terms and conditions. Everyone has a right to live their life the way they want. Everyone has a right to be happy without feeling guilty. No one deserves abuse. No one is not good enough for healthy love. No one has the right to hurt anyone. Everyone can be happy. Everyone feels completely alone and lost sometimes. It is okay to be yourself. It's okay to do what you want to do. It's okay to be happy with yourself, your life. It's okay to say no. You need to be honest with everyone/everything you can, don't listen to anyone but yourself. Do anything you want as long as it's not hurting someone else. You deserve the best. You can have it if you want it bad enough.

i don't care.

i don't care if it hurts. i want to have control. i want a perfect body. i want a perfect soul. i believe at times i am missing out. like everything good is happening somewhere else. i think we spend too much time wondering why we're not good enough we spend too much time overanazlying over-thinking, and overreacting. we waste too much time putting ourselves down, so much that we don't ever stop to see that we are good enough.


i never want to refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. i just want to keep my mind open and suck in the experience and if it hurts, you know what? it's probably worth it.

Perhaps I should read my own words sometimes.

I have not been inspired by anything lately. I want to make a difference, a big change. I'm a great thinker, and I like to express that through blogs, but it's so difficult. My way with words is not what it used to be. Even trying to convey a simple idea or thought leads me to become completely tangled up in my own efforts. I am always wanting more. And instead of words and music flowing through my mind, it feels like my mind is nothing but dusty air. All I can contain is work. All I do is worry. All I do is waste away in front of screens, looking at things I can't have. Wishing I had this, I had that, I had more money. My brain has been so consumed with work and money. I don't get enough sleep. I may be smiling, and I might not be that ugly. But I feel like I am. I've got some issues that nobody can see, but what human doesn't? Today I'll create something beautiful.

life is an occasion. rise to it.

Life would be so much more interesting if people randomly broke out into happy songs in the middle of a crowded street, just like Broadway. It would be so nice if something made sense for a change. I'm not sure if I'm happy or completely lost right now. Definitely a little lost, but aren't we all? I have no idea what I'm doing in my life, or where I'm going. And I think I'm okay with that right now. The trouble with so many of us is that we underestimate the power of simplicity. We have a tendency, it seems, to over complicate our lives and forget what's important and what's not. We tend to mistake movement for achievement. We tend to focus on our activities instead of results. And as the pace of life continues to race along the outside world, we forget we have the power to control our lives regardless of what's going on outside.